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Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
17.6.13
20.10.12
----- We're A Constant Walking Cliché -----
What I mean by that is us, being in our twenties, constantly bombarded by the same stereotypes that define us as the twenty-somethings. Constant worriers. Constant undeciders. Constant party-ers. Constant whiners. And this list called Twenty Something Ways to You're Twenty-Something is the perfect corroboration. (i highlighted the ones I relate)
Twenty something ways to know you’re twenty something
1) There
is a nagging suspicion in your brain that there’s something missing.
Not missing as in “Shit I lost my cell phone.” But missing as in, you
wake up in the morning not really sure of your path in life, if this is
really what you want to do, and if this perpetual hangover is really how
life is supposed to feel.
2) Your
finances are constantly subject to new “budgeting” attempts, new excel
spreadsheets, new financial plans, and yet never really seem to
accumulate as quickly as your friends say theirs do.
3) Your friends’ jobs are all better than yours
4) Your friends’ apartments are all better than yours.
5) If
you’re single you are worried you’ll die alone, if you’re in a
relationship you’re constantly worried if “this is the one” and
otherwise you’re newly engaged and everyone else is jealous but you’re
worried about becoming a divorce statistic. Really though, everyone just
lives with each other.
6) One
night stands seem way less appealing than they did approximately 15
months ago and you’re not sure what changed (except your unexpected new
devotion to hygiene).
7) Your hangovers last 3 days, but you love dark and dingy bars. They make you feel artistic.
8) Your
hangovers are no longer just a headache but defined by ‘booze blues’
and ‘shameover’ symptoms (re: what am I doing with my life?!; oh my god
why did I drink so much?;) and losing your wallet/phone/coat/pride no
longer seems as funny as it did when you were 20. You find yourself
staring teary-eyed into the mirror at your smudged eyeliner wondering if
this is really what you should be doing with your time. Then you
slowly, and quietly whispering, start singing yourself a Celine Dion
song.
9) Suddenly
staying home with a bottle of cheap vino, a blanket, a tear jerker, and
your cat seem a substantially better way to spend your Saturday nights
then standing in line waiting to spend $100.
10) Oh yah, now you stand in line because bouncers don’t find 20-somethings as attractive as just-turned-19’s.
11) Your head suddenly feels crammed with numbers:
a) Cell phone bills
b) Student debt payments
c) Monthly income
d) Booze costs
e) Coffee costs
f) How many centuries it will take to afford a house
g) Etc.,
12) You remember a simpler time. It
included such heart-warming and moral shows as Breaker High, Saved by
the Bell, Fresh Prince, CITY Guys, Wishbone, Ghost Writer, Captain
Planet, and the Smoggies. A major part of you suspects that your morals
and values were shaped by the lessons in these cartoons. Another
major part of you suspects the lack of morality in youth these days
stems from their inability to watch the same programming you did.
13) You
have thoughts that start with, “Kids these days… When I was a teen… In
my day…. When I was younger…” and other such statements you never
thought would come out of your mouth.
14) You start parenting your parents.
15) You remember a time before the internet. You
remember when your family got its first computer. You remember, “Where
in the World is Carmen Sandiego?,” “Encyclopedia Britannica on CD-ROM,”
and the first Apple computer on the block. You also remember the evolution of social media because you were there for it all. BBS – ICQ – MSN - Yahoo Chat – Forums – Chatrooms – Email – Facebook – Perez – Twitter – Blogs - ?
16) You find yourself sad sometimes because you actually feel like the Internet’s become a bad place.
17) Everything
is solved by brunch. 20-somethings love brunch. Post-break-up brunch,
post-night-out brunch, before-flea-market brunch, before-shopping
brunch, happy brunch, birthday brunch, gossip brunch, ‘wanna go to
brunch and catch up’ brunch?
18) Time goes by quicker than ever before, for an unknown reason, and the more you try to slow it down the faster it goes.
19) Going
travelling versus paying off your student loan versus buying property
is a serious legitimate conversation in your head. Backpacking is as
legitimate a rite of passage as college/university.
20) You have a niggling suspicion that someone lied to you and that your twenties are not the huge party previously assumed.
21) You
are also starting to suspect that the rumours going around about your
thirties being the REAL party are just a ruse to get you through your
twenties.
22) You’re
favorite saying is, “What am I going to do with my life?” This is
usually followed by self-assuring statements that you’ve done a lot more
than most people, you’ve got memories if not experience, and that’s
really all that matters in the end because YOU won’t have regrets.
23) You find yourself making lists more often because your forget more things: to-do lists are your new bible.
24) There’s
something about HBO shows, like unreal shows that seem real, and you
HAVE to watch them every week. This is especially true if the shows
involve vampires, drug dealing moms, drug making teachers, doctors, or
police/fire fighters.
25) You suddenly understand what people meant by, “Generation Why.
That's a lot of orange highlighter... à la sigh.
16.4.12
----- I'm a Hipster! -----
Cardigan? check. Blouse? check. Brown trousers? check. Oxford shoes? need.
this cute game is addictive for a bit. so do i find myself to be dressed like a hipster? what does hipster mean anyway nowadays, it the most overused word to the point that its meaning means as much as saying "weird", "different" ,"artsy" ,"pretentious". sometimes, the word can be confused for "fashionable". that's my view.
12.1.12
----- Comic Without Sans! -----
What if Comic Sans took over logos?
Comic Sans, designed by Vincent Connare, was modeled after comic books (no way!), and introduced it in Windows 95 (ah, the good old days). Connare, while on job, discovered the wrong use of Time News Roman in a software that is meant to be casual, Times News Roman seemed too serious. Thus he created the softer font with curves. Initially the results were positive, like I said, there weren't anything similar back then. Type was not not a priority at offices and homes, people never thought emotions can be projected through the choice of font.
Office workers unfortunately still use it, probably to send spam mail to each other (remember the crazy ones telling you must send it to 20 friends else you will have no love life, IN COMIC SANS). To me, Comic Sans cannot be used for text due to its lack of readability, and be seldom used as header. Children is probably the only exception; though there are much better suited fonts today.
Time to waste? Youtube: comic sans.
I'm Comic Sans, Asshole from joehollier on Vimeo.
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